This past weekend I realized that despite what I think half of the time, I'm a pretty lucky lady. I was talking with my neighbor, who is a pretty successful artist and studio owner. She pretty much told me her entire life story and I was shocked and instantly grateful for what has been handed to me. She told me about her terrible experiences with boys and men beginning at a very young age, her crazy family, life in Las Vegas, and a few of her terrible marriages. She also shared a few 'life lessons' and philosophies on how to go about life, one being to take it [life] by the balls. It sure sounds like they have gotten her extremely far. She raised her two sons as a single mom, dyeing, weaving, and selling rugs around the world. She taught herself how to paint and now owns her own studio and store. She really is quite an inspiration. I left her house feeling pretty fortunate, that's for sure.
She helped me realize that the young people today [me included, for sure] are really lazy. We don't want to make time to do projects for others, we now have 'more important' things to do. We say no too often, and don't 'take life by the balls', letting too many opportunities pass by us. Also, I can't just hope and want to be something great. I need to tell myself this everyday so my self conscience has something to go on. My neighbor told me that she never said 'Oh, I'd love to be successful with my art someday..' She always told herself, she would be successful with her art, and she is. So here I go, day one of this theory. Someday, I will be a photographer for National Geographic, even if it's one picture, I will be featured in that magazine.
Check in around 15- 20 years from now and see if I made it happen :D
Life has honestly been insane lately, and due to it being so crazy, I don't even know where to begin my post. I suppose I'll start with school, and how it is completely consuming my life! I will say I'm not as excited about it as I was the last time I devoted my post to it, but it isn't too too bad. I like the majority of my classes, and most of the teachers, but I can't help but notice the difference this year. I get the feeling that the teachers are a little side tracked or something. They seem to do a ton of social chatting at the class rather than educational lecture. As far as my economics class goes, I know about the same about it as I did on day one, which is nothing beneficial to me. I may have learned how to almost buy and sell stocks, as well as understand the meaning of all the charts and such. Otherwise, nadda. Sociology is just about the same, all we do is have class discussions. Now, I realize it'ssociology, the study of basically being social, but I don't think it's necessary for us to talk about our own opinions the entire time. We talk about topics I feel I already had some background on. Tell me something I don't know and let me learn something. As of now, I'm kind of feeling as if I should have taken Psych or something. As for Chem, I started out really not enjoying my teacher, and still am not totally geeked on his teaching style, but at least I am somewhat understanding it now. Tux is honestly, one of the nicest guys ever, he's humble, genuine, and truly down to earth, but I really question if he's all the way there. My friend and I sit and watch his facial expressions and mannerisms, and it's pretty apparent that there are a few loose screws. English is pretty tough, but I really think it will be beneficial to my writing once I'm through. It is funny though, I signed up for ap language and composition rather than ap lit to circumvent analyzing the pieces I read, and to further my knowledge in writing. What have I done so far? Written one essay and read a bazillion things having to analyze them the next day. I circumvent nothing.
Whaaatever, those are the least of my worries when we start talking about homework. I don't know if I'm A: OCD or B: lolly gagging or C: retarded, but I feel like I have way more homework than anyone in the universe. I don't really hear many people complain that they're doing 6+ hours of homework every night and I want to know, why my teachers seem to give more than everyone else's? Answer me that blogger community. Moving on...
My Uncle came to visit my mom and I here in Idaho from Michigan this past week. I hadn't seen him in three years and it was really nice to visit with him again. He is quite a character, very funny, but at the same time has many great ideas and opinions that he expresses in a strong, yet not aggressive way. I love to listen to his points and ideals while sharing and discussing my own. My Uncle Bob is quite the socialist Canadian. We got up to Stanley for the day, it was great and therapeutic for everyone. My uncle loves the book and movie 'Into the Wild', he can rant and rave about it for a good hour if you really got him going. We both agreed that Stanley made us feel the way Chris felt while he was traveling, liberated and free minded. It truly is a magical place. Here are a few shots from the trip.
I was able to skype with my buddy, Kyra, this weekend. It was a blast to be able to actually see and interact with her. Almost felt like we were just hanging out. I miss her dearly and can't wait to see her sometime next year. FOREVER AWAY! Until next then, skype will do the trick I suppose.
Last weekend, my peaceful neighborhood got deeply disturbed. Early in the morning around 3, our neighbor came running over shouting, 'Help! Help! Someone call 911! Help Help!' ringing our doorbell to alert everyone, and then running to the next door. My mom came down and asked my uncle if he knew what was happening and went out to see what was going on. My uncle said he had heard a gunshot that was very close. We later found out that it was her husband who had fired the gunshot. Killing himself. Everyone was so shocked that our seemingly happy neighbor, would take his life, leaving behind a wife and young son. As our neighborhood met to talk and see how everyone was handling the event, facts began to surface. We heard everything from his being deported back to Mexico, to job loss, to an ongoing series of abuse in the house. I just can't believe it though, he was so nice. My mom and I are having a hard time seeing violence in the house attached to ours, it was always quiet next door. We could hear calm conversation and music occasionally, but nothing ever angry or seemingly violent. If it truly was happening right next door, I am extremely disturbed that I never picked up on it, being unable to prevent those awful experiences for her, and a dark atmosphere for a young boy to grow up in. Whatever the case may be, my thoughts are going out to the family and their loss.
Ayee, lots going on eh? Music time. I can't stay away from -Good Old War -Wilco -Bob and Jakob Dylan -The Avett Bros -Matt Costa They all kind of have a calm folky feeling to them, super easy listening. Classical music is really helping too. I suppose that's all for me tonight, time to go start Walden. Ha, here we go. Hope everyone is doing well, goodnight.
I've never been much of a cookie eater, except when they're in the house. My mom never ever ever EVER buys cookies, and for some reason decided to go on a binge 'Oreo' diet, buying three packs of them. What's the catch? She doesn't eat them. Apparently she's okay with me having no self control and loving those damn cookies! Let's face it, they're good with way way to many things, milk, Nutella, peanut butter, solo, fruit, icecream. AYE! Not only are they tasty, they're easy to eat. I come home from school, ready to get my snack on, what do I do? Take time to cut up an apple, orange, pear, or some melon? Yeah right. I go right to the Oreo container, peel back some plastic, and snack on a couple treats. So bad. I love my fruits and veggies, but when something comes along that is less tedious (yes, I am extremely lazy) you bet I'm going to have it. Especially when it is a 'golden oreo'.
Not
but...
They're delicious.
Not only am I a glutton, I'm a carless, broke glutton. I bought my Subaru Outback last spring, since April, it's cost me about $200 dollars, and now apparently has a 'cracked block', which everyone is telling me means I need to replace the motor. Cool, so not only does it not work any longer, I might as well have bought myself a car that was twice as much as mine. FTW. Now I don't know what to do, three options seem to be available.
1: Fix my car and keep it. 2: Fix my car and sell it. 3: See if I can sell it as the piece it is, and get money to put towards another car. OORRR be a sensible person and ride my bikes for forever, which doesn't sound too bad at this point.
I had a great bike ride today, I rode from the Y in Ketchum back down to Hailey. I cranked the tunes and hauled. It was really nice. Biking helps me appreciate where I live, I can take my time and look around at all the wonders around me. It's beautiful here. I'm pretty lucky to live in a place that uses its land to the fullest. Everyone should get out and take advantage of what's offered to them in their backyard, whether it's hiking, biking, walking, painting, taking pictures, or just reading outside. Throw yourself into and enjoy it, wherever it may be.
For the past couple of days I can't help but notice an awful mood shift in me. What once was content and comfortable is now lost, confused, and insecure. I don't know if it's school, people, or a longing for something unfeasible that are getting to me, but something is up for sure. Is it the beginning transition of summer to fall? Freedom to school? Anyone? Answers please!
The other day I visited the labor day weekend antique fair here in Hailey, and talked to one of the local photographers named Steve. Steve is a local cowboy who seems to have seen the best and worst of times, all while snapping breathtaking shots. While I was checking out his setup, he began to tell me the story of a picture I couldn't seem to take my eyes off. It was a simple side of a house, with a paned window. Inside the window was a lamp and a blank wall with planet earth hanging in what seemed to be the center of the room. Steve started off by explaining to me that it was one of the few pictures he had 'created' himself, meaning he staged it. He went on to explain that the lamp symbolized life, warmth, activity, and love. So starting off, we have this nice cabin, a home, with a warm feeling of love, but what is the earth there for? The earth was a symbol of a huge, great society. One where people dwell and are all taking part in something to better this home they have. Basically, he was trying to say, that by having the earth, a home, inside a functioning home, he was an outsider looking in, just trying to find his nitch and place. A home to feel comfortable in.
It really kindof got me today. I have a loving home here in Idaho with my mom, and know I always will. Still, I can't help but get the feeling that I just don't quite have a place yet. This feeling really creeped up on me today. I don't really have any close friends in Idaho. And my friends in Michigan seem to be dwindling away. I'm turning into this awful hermit! I will say there are a select few here in Hailey that call me to do things, but I've been finding that I, more than not, decline those offers. But other than the three people I can think of, there's noone. The people that were once my closest pals in my old home, have changed in ways I can't begin to explain and I just find myself making awkward conversation to say that I'm still 'connected' to these people, when really, there's nothing. Final summation: Regardless of my living west or 'home' in the midwest, I don't completely have a solid 'niche' that I really feel comfortable in. Cool eh?
I'm also a little bit bummed because time, which I posted about the other day, is never working with me. Ever. A slap in the face has also come across lately. I had two super important people in my life that I took for granted, and now they're essentially gone. I had a best friend who I could see eye to eye with on almost anything, and the things we didn't see the same, we could definately at least understand. There were so many things we had in common and just could be ourselves. No strings attatched. No awkwardness. Nothing but greatness. I took this girlie for granted, now realizing how great I had it with her an her family, not ever spending enough time with her for the short year I was lucky enough to know her. She's now on a foreign exchange trip, having the time of her life. Though I miss her so much and secretly (not so secretly any more) want her to come home, I am extremely happy and excited for her. If only she still lived four blocks away! Her family up and moved to an entirely new state!! Guess I'll have some roadtrips coming up next year. :) The other, another special person, I know now more than ever how much I took to be a given, rather than the privelige it was to be so close. This person instantly became such a close, connected, essential part of my life. We could do anything from hiking big mountains (me being carried on a shoulder :P ) to snowshoeing, to watching movies, to building snowrails in our yards, to comedy shows and roadtrips. Nothing was off limits and it took something extremely crazy to make an awkward feeling arise. Over the year I knew this great guy, there were onesided feelings, reciprocated with lame half-assed responses and feelings on my behalf. Always and excuse to keep it friendly, and not serious. A year later I'm finding myself ready to completely return those feelings, seems like I'm a year too late. Now this 'given' friendship is an awkward, tense blob that I wish I could get back. We're friends, but let me tell you, it's definately not the same.
On a happier note, my buddy Dano and I (more him than I) have been working on a pretty old roadbike. It's an old Schwinn 'Varsity' that's a deep shade of green and the old push-pull gearshifters. I'm pretty excited and didn't get great pictures, but here are a few. I'll work on some more soon.
The days seem to get shorter as I get older, and I'm only 16!! What am I going to do when I'm thirty? Fourty? Fifty?! ....!!!! Especially now that school has started, there simply aren't enough hours in the day for me to be productive, yet have the freetime to be completely worthless. That being said, it is creating an awful habit on my part. I can't mail things.
I've always been a big 'Thank You' card person, and since the Hanukkah/Christmas season, it seems like I can't make the time to sit down and write a short note to my family and friends who thought of me. And that isn't even the worst part. During the holiday season, I have a nice, long break full of empty days that I generally spend up on Baldy, shreddin'. Not in school or work being productive. I'm having me time. Skiing also doesn't take up the entire day, and closes at 4:30. So what is it you ask that I spend the rest of my day doing? I honestly couldn't tell you. I don't recall being too productive, maybe a nap and some web surfing? A little ice skating perhaps? And yet I can't find a half hour to devote to my friends and family. I'm ashamed.
This hasn't only happened during the holidays, my birthday was another slump in the 'thank you' notes. At least this time I got them written and stuffed into envelopes....two months late! I truly am embarassed and sorry for all the people who will recieve one when I finally send them out.
Not only have a I been terribly with the ty notes. My letters are accumulating on my shelf as well. I have letters for my friends who have left for adventures in other countries, I have letters for my family in Canada, and worst of all, I have a letter to my father, a reply, from December waiting to go out! How have I let myself get so far behind!? I love mail and find myself wondering why I never get anything important. Maybe that's the answer Rach! o_0
After I mail the large shipment of letters out, I will honestly try to keep a steady export rate going. Promise with both of my pinkies.
A side note..
Today was my second day of school, and I am already wiped out. I have lost nearly all of my excitment for school, but don't hate it yet, so that's a good sign. I also haven't started half assing my assignments either, another good sign. I will say that sociology is going to be the coolest class I have taken to date, and absolutely love it. Everyone should have that class. As far as not so cool classes, Chemistry takes the cake. I have Mr. Tuxhorn who is the nicest, most genuine man ever, but teaching just isn't his claim to fame. He is too soft spoken to control a class and way to friendly, not to mention 'blazed' all day as some other kids would say. I'll leave that one up for debate. The class that I honestly can't say I have an opinion on aside from intense is AP Language and Comp. We have had to exams already to show us what's up for the final and to see where we're all at, and I'm betting I get a big, bold RETARD stamp on both of mine. I wasn't prepared to comprehend let alone think so hard on the first day. Oh well, I am still pretty interested to see how it goes.
I think this is getting a little lengthy so I'll leave it at that...
Inspiring picture of the day for me.
This was featured on the cover of National Geographic at some point which in itself says so much. They have the best photos in that magazine. Anyways, the colors are so strong and her face holds so much, I just want to go up and talk to her.
When I can't take my own picture to put in my blog, I think I'll post one that I really enjoy, to keep things interesting. Maybe a video or song instead every once in a while.
It's bed time for me though, picture day tomorrow already! Yikes!!
