An emotional rant: readers beware.

I feel that my peers are completely blind to not only the hurt they cause their peers on a daily basis, but also to everyone's emotions aside from their own and immediate circle. Our news created a video about cliques and groups- which turned out to be a complete joke- trying to justify the claim that our school is not very cliquey. Too bad the majority of students in my high school of 800 will probably only speak to 40 students consistently, and may never exchange a word with at least 600 of them; ever. How sad is that? Why not collect friends from all over? Does it really matter who they hang out with or where they stand in the oh so important world of highschool?

I feel that something is terribly wrong when people can't pop their bubble and actually see what the people around them feel. When asked how we are, the majority would say 'fine'; is this truly the case? It's an act of courtesy for most, many really don't care. If someone were to prod and appear to be interested, they truly want a surface overview-not the entire story. I don't feel that I have recently had the opportunity to convey how I am to anyone other than my mother, and even then I don't always share the convoluted explanation, because 'How are you" is not as simple as it seems. Us humans are quite complicated once looked at with open eyes and minds. But who knows, maybe it is my cynicism that shelters and harbors my feelings. Someone once described me as an 'open-closed book', and I couldn't agree more. I wear my emotions and simple thoughts on my sleeve, but will seldomly release my true fears, desires, or ideas to anyone. What a sad thought that there are millions and billions of suppressed feelings around the world. What would it be like to have to opportunity to open up to a peer rather than pay and schedule an appointment in order to have someone to talk to? Why must our mental health be questioned in order to say how we're feelng? What a dream it would be if there were always a person, stranger or friend, there to listen. If it weren't for the lovely cash, that convenient, completely impersonal shoulder to cry on and ear to talk off would not be there, they don't want to hear you- they're simply doing their job. Maybe we could release some of the anger and negative energy if we could simply band together and open up.

A friend of mine likes a girl, but is too scared to pursue. What is the worst that could happen; she just isn't into you? She just wants to be friends? Worst case scenario she wants nothing to do with you? If the third be so, you're right back to where you began, nothing lost and nothing gained. If no actions are taken, you've lost a gateway opportunity to a relationship, a new friend, etc.. rather than losing a speck of self assurance? This goes for any situation, jobs, meeting people, trying new things - we let them pass us by due to fear of rejection or loss. Who cares if your self pride is punctured, it always comes back. I just feel like we need to let go of the this ego we have all built up- have it be materially or through interactions- something should be changed. Does it kill to smile at a stranger? Does it kill to be yourself? Why are we taking ourselves so seriously? Could we not just lower our guards and stop being who we think everyone else wants us to be? Let's lower our guards and let our true colors show. I certainly don't enjoy everyone's company, but I sure am tolerant while giving each individual a fair chance. call me self righteous- I don't care. If this is amusing, get over yourself, you're struggling just as much as the rest.

I'm sure this 'essay' has been written time and time again, but seriously-there is something so terribly wrong with people. I know I have a long way to go in order to be all the things I preach, but maybe if I hear it enough, it will give me the courage to take further steps than I have thus far.

I feel much better having these nagging peeves out and ready to be read. Thank you

/R (and who knows, maybe it is me who is the twisted one...)