Spending

I'll tell you first, I absolutely hate department stores, and most of all, I hate Macy's. Macy's is where all the jerkish people in a town go to work. That store is a: way too expensive for goods that truly aren't worth their markup. b: full of 'speacialists' that truly can't do anything more special than the next salesman. and c: an awful place to be.

My mom and I were in Macy's yesterday, and simply walking in the door gets me in a slightly lesser mood than I was outside. She was checking out some jeans and I decided to wander around, scope it out, watch the people, whatever. I found some jeans that were pretty cute, found my size, hit the fitting room. I have a hard time checking prices before I try it on, call me crazy. The pants really fit nicely, which is an accomplishment in itself because I'm so short. I check the price, they were 200 dollar jeans. Yeah right, I have seen the same brand and they are maybe, at most worth 80 dollars. I then was walking around, and saw a sweatshirt that was really neat, different than what I had been seeing lately. Needless to say I wanted it. Turns out I was willing to pay some big bucks for it with a little discount from a coupon. Well guess what? Macy's sends out coupons that none of the vendors accpet! Woah, good plan eh? Even the cosmetics women are awful, their service is delayed and once you get it, they're rude. I watched my mom try and buy her makeup, and got angrier and angrier.
I'm done with that I suppose, forget Macy's.
Now for car business. I bought a 1996 Subaru Outback from my teacher this year, and thought it was going to be great. I loved the car and it drove really well. For a month. On my way back from Stanley one day, the engine light came on. I took it in and they said that the cylinder four was messed up, (clearly I know a lot about cars...) and claimed that they had fixed it. But of course, coming home from Stanely a few weeks later, it comes on again. I took it in, yet another time and they said they fixed it. 200 dollars later, my temperature gauge is going berzerk. So I took my car in for the third time in two months, and he says i need a new thermostat. Of course we do it. So now, for the third time I am coming home from Stanley, and notice the gauge is reading a high temperature. Me, thinking it's simply still not working keeps driving. Luckily I made it to Hailey before my car died due to overheating. I was so bummed and didn't really know what to do, so I waited a couple minutes before trying to start it again. Luckily it started and got me to a friends house where I left it to cool off. I took it in again, number four, and they tell me nothing is wrong with it. I'm not a genius, but I'm not stupid enough to know that if my car overheated and wouldn't take me somewhere, that there is NOTHING wrong with it. Blahblahblah more problems blah, I took it to another mechanic who found that I have a water pump leak, and one of the gaskets is warped or blown, or something. Cool, so now all summer I have been driving a car that has tons of problems, making them all worse everytime I drive it. Now here I am with this car I have had for the summer, that needs more work than I payed for it.
Forget that, I'm selling the beast.
So now, I'm on the hunt for a car, and found one that I like a lot. Guess who doesn't have 11,000 dollars for a 5,000 dollar car. Ha, ME.
I guess the point of this post is for me to complain a lot, and just try and see if writing this all makes stuff make more sense. I just feel that everything is overpriced and the point of everything now is to rip another person off.
I leave for Mars on Monday, who's coming with?
-_-

Lucky Me

This past weekend I realized that despite what I think half of the time, I'm a pretty lucky lady. I was talking with my neighbor, who is a pretty successful artist and studio owner. She pretty much told me her entire life story and I was shocked and instantly grateful for what has been handed to me. She told me about her terrible experiences with boys and men beginning at a very young age, her crazy family, life in Las Vegas, and a few of her terrible marriages. She also shared a few 'life lessons' and philosophies on how to go about life, one being to take it [life] by the balls. It sure sounds like they have gotten her extremely far. She raised her two sons as a single mom, dyeing, weaving, and selling rugs around the world. She taught herself how to paint and now owns her own studio and store. She really is quite an inspiration. I left her house feeling pretty fortunate, that's for sure.

She helped me realize that the young people today [me included, for sure] are really lazy. We don't want to make time to do projects for others, we now have 'more important' things to do. We say no too often, and don't 'take life by the balls', letting too many opportunities pass by us. Also, I can't just hope and want to be something great. I need to tell myself this everyday so my self conscience has something to go on. My neighbor told me that she never said 'Oh, I'd love to be successful with my art someday..' She always told herself, she would be successful with her art, and she is. So here I go, day one of this theory. Someday, I will be a photographer for National Geographic, even if it's one picture, I will be featured in that magazine.

Check in around 15- 20 years from now and see if I made it happen :D

-_-

Catch up.

Life has honestly been insane lately, and due to it being so crazy, I don't even know where to begin my post. I suppose I'll start with school, and how it is completely consuming my life! I will say I'm not as excited about it as I was the last time I devoted my post to it, but it isn't too too bad. I like the majority of my classes, and most of the teachers, but I can't help but notice the difference this year. I get the feeling that the teachers are a little side tracked or something. They seem to do a ton of social chatting at the class rather than educational lecture. As far as my economics class goes, I know about the same about it as I did on day one, which is nothing beneficial to me. I may have learned how to almost buy and sell stocks, as well as understand the meaning of all the charts and such. Otherwise, nadda. Sociology is just about the same, all we do is have class discussions. Now, I realize it's sociology, the study of basically being social, but I don't think it's necessary for us to talk about our own opinions the entire time. We talk about topics I feel I already had some background on. Tell me something I don't know and let me learn something. As of now, I'm kind of feeling as if I should have taken Psych or something. As for Chem, I started out really not enjoying my teacher, and still am not totally geeked on his teaching style, but at least I am somewhat understanding it now. Tux is honestly, one of the nicest guys ever, he's humble, genuine, and truly down to earth, but I really question if he's all the way there. My friend and I sit and watch his facial expressions and mannerisms, and it's pretty apparent that there are a few loose screws. English is pretty tough, but I really think it will be beneficial to my writing once I'm through. It is funny though, I signed up for ap language and composition rather than ap lit to circumvent analyzing the pieces I read, and to further my knowledge in writing. What have I done so far? Written one essay and read a bazillion things having to analyze them the next day. I circumvent nothing.

Whaaatever, those are the least of my worries when we start talking about homework. I don't know if I'm A: OCD or B: lolly gagging or C: retarded, but I feel like I have way more homework than anyone in the universe. I don't really hear many people complain that they're doing 6+ hours of homework every night and I want to know, why my teachers seem to give more than everyone else's? Answer me that blogger community.
Moving on...

My Uncle came to visit my mom and I here in Idaho from Michigan this past week. I hadn't seen him in three years and it was really nice to visit with him again. He is quite a character, very funny, but at the same time has many great ideas and opinions that he expresses in a strong, yet not aggressive way. I love to listen to his points and ideals while sharing and discussing my own. My Uncle Bob is quite the socialist Canadian. We got up to Stanley for the day, it was great and therapeutic for everyone. My uncle loves the book and movie 'Into the Wild', he can rant and rave about it for a good hour if you really got him going. We both agreed that Stanley made us feel the way Chris felt while he was traveling, liberated and free minded. It truly is a magical place. Here are a few shots from the trip.

I was able to skype with my buddy, Kyra, this weekend. It was a blast to be able to actually see and interact with her. Almost felt like we were just hanging out. I miss her dearly and can't wait to see her sometime next year. FOREVER AWAY! Until next then, skype will do the trick I suppose.

Last weekend, my peaceful neighborhood got deeply disturbed. Early in the morning around 3, our neighbor came running over shouting, 'Help! Help! Someone call 911! Help Help!' ringing our doorbell to alert everyone, and then running to the next door. My mom came down and asked my uncle if he knew what was happening and went out to see what was going on. My uncle said he had heard a gunshot that was very close. We later found out that it was her husband who had fired the gunshot. Killing himself. Everyone was so shocked that our seemingly happy neighbor, would take his life, leaving behind a wife and young son. As our neighborhood met to talk and see how everyone was handling the event, facts began to surface. We heard everything from his being deported back to Mexico, to job loss, to an ongoing series of abuse in the house. I just can't believe it though, he was so nice. My mom and I are having a hard time seeing violence in the house attached to ours, it was always quiet next door. We could hear calm conversation and music occasionally, but nothing ever angry or seemingly violent. If it truly was happening right next door, I am extremely disturbed that I never picked up on it, being unable to prevent those awful experiences for her, and a dark atmosphere for a young boy to grow up in. Whatever the case may be, my thoughts are going out to the family and their loss.

Ayee, lots going on eh?
Music time.
I can't stay away from
-Good Old War
-Wilco
-Bob and Jakob Dylan
-The Avett Bros
-Matt Costa
They all kind of have a calm folky feeling to them, super easy listening.
Classical music is really helping too.
I suppose that's all for me tonight, time to go start Walden. Ha, here we go.
Hope everyone is doing well, goodnight.

-_-

Tell milk's favorite cookie to leave me alone.. and other side rants

I've never been much of a cookie eater, except when they're in the house. My mom never ever ever EVER buys cookies, and for some reason decided to go on a binge 'Oreo' diet, buying three packs of them. What's the catch? She doesn't eat them. Apparently she's okay with me having no self control and loving those damn cookies! Let's face it, they're good with way way to many things, milk, Nutella, peanut butter, solo, fruit, icecream. AYE! Not only are they tasty, they're easy to eat. I come home from school, ready to get my snack on, what do I do? Take time to cut up an apple, orange, pear, or some melon? Yeah right. I go right to the Oreo container, peel back some plastic, and snack on a couple treats. So bad. I love my fruits and veggies, but when something comes along that is less tedious (yes, I am extremely lazy) you bet I'm going to have it. Especially when it is a 'golden oreo'.

Not

but...

They're delicious.

Not only am I a glutton, I'm a carless, broke glutton. I bought my Subaru Outback last spring, since April, it's cost me about $200 dollars, and now apparently has a 'cracked block', which everyone is telling me means I need to replace the motor. Cool, so not only does it not work any longer, I might as well have bought myself a car that was twice as much as mine. FTW. Now I don't know what to do, three options seem to be available.

1: Fix my car and keep it.
2: Fix my car and sell it.
3: See if I can sell it as the piece it is, and get money to put towards another car.
OORRR be a sensible person and ride my bikes for forever, which doesn't sound too bad at this point.

I had a great bike ride today, I rode from the Y in Ketchum back down to Hailey. I cranked the tunes and hauled. It was really nice. Biking helps me appreciate where I live, I can take my time and look around at all the wonders around me. It's beautiful here. I'm pretty lucky to live in a place that uses its land to the fullest. Everyone should get out and take advantage of what's offered to them in their backyard, whether it's hiking, biking, walking, painting, taking pictures, or just reading outside. Throw yourself into and enjoy it, wherever it may be.

Great shot of Northern Idaho. ^
-_-

A Rant

For the past couple of days I can't help but notice an awful mood shift in me. What once was content and comfortable is now lost, confused, and insecure. I don't know if it's school, people, or a longing for something unfeasible that are getting to me, but something is up for sure. Is it the beginning transition of summer to fall? Freedom to school? Anyone? Answers please!

The other day I visited the labor day weekend antique fair here in Hailey, and talked to one of the local photographers named Steve. Steve is a local cowboy who seems to have seen the best and worst of times, all while snapping breathtaking shots. While I was checking out his setup, he began to tell me the story of a picture I couldn't seem to take my eyes off. It was a simple side of a house, with a paned window. Inside the window was a lamp and a blank wall with planet earth hanging in what seemed to be the center of the room. Steve started off by explaining to me that it was one of the few pictures he had 'created' himself, meaning he staged it. He went on to explain that the lamp symbolized life, warmth, activity, and love. So starting off, we have this nice cabin, a home, with a warm feeling of love, but what is the earth there for? The earth was a symbol of a huge, great society. One where people dwell and are all taking part in something to better this home they have. Basically, he was trying to say, that by having the earth, a home, inside a functioning home, he was an outsider looking in, just trying to find his nitch and place. A home to feel comfortable in.

It really kindof got me today. I have a loving home here in Idaho with my mom, and know I always will. Still, I can't help but get the feeling that I just don't quite have a place yet. This feeling really creeped up on me today. I don't really have any close friends in Idaho. And my friends in Michigan seem to be dwindling away. I'm turning into this awful hermit! I will say there are a select few here in Hailey that call me to do things, but I've been finding that I, more than not, decline those offers. But other than the three people I can think of, there's noone. The people that were once my closest pals in my old home, have changed in ways I can't begin to explain and I just find myself making awkward conversation to say that I'm still 'connected' to these people, when really, there's nothing. Final summation: Regardless of my living west or 'home' in the midwest, I don't completely have a solid 'niche' that I really feel comfortable in. Cool eh?

I'm also a little bit bummed because time, which I posted about the other day, is never working with me. Ever. A slap in the face has also come across lately. I had two super important people in my life that I took for granted, and now they're essentially gone. I had a best friend who I could see eye to eye with on almost anything, and the things we didn't see the same, we could definately at least understand. There were so many things we had in common and just could be ourselves. No strings attatched. No awkwardness. Nothing but greatness. I took this girlie for granted, now realizing how great I had it with her an her family, not ever spending enough time with her for the short year I was lucky enough to know her. She's now on a foreign exchange trip, having the time of her life. Though I miss her so much and secretly (not so secretly any more) want her to come home, I am extremely happy and excited for her. If only she still lived four blocks away! Her family up and moved to an entirely new state!! Guess I'll have some roadtrips coming up next year. :) The other, another special person, I know now more than ever how much I took to be a given, rather than the privelige it was to be so close. This person instantly became such a close, connected, essential part of my life. We could do anything from hiking big mountains (me being carried on a shoulder :P ) to snowshoeing, to watching movies, to building snowrails in our yards, to comedy shows and roadtrips. Nothing was off limits and it took something extremely crazy to make an awkward feeling arise. Over the year I knew this great guy, there were onesided feelings, reciprocated with lame half-assed responses and feelings on my behalf. Always and excuse to keep it friendly, and not serious. A year later I'm finding myself ready to completely return those feelings, seems like I'm a year too late. Now this 'given' friendship is an awkward, tense blob that I wish I could get back. We're friends, but let me tell you, it's definately not the same.

On a happier note, my buddy Dano and I (more him than I) have been working on a pretty old roadbike. It's an old Schwinn 'Varsity' that's a deep shade of green and the old push-pull gearshifters. I'm pretty excited and didn't get great pictures, but here are a few. I'll work on some more soon.

Also, in conclusion to my lengthy essay-like post, check this chickaa out. Very good music.http://www.myspace.com/thaomusic

Goodnight interworld. -_-

30 hour days.

The days seem to get shorter as I get older, and I'm only 16!! What am I going to do when I'm thirty? Fourty? Fifty?! ....!!!! Especially now that school has started, there simply aren't enough hours in the day for me to be productive, yet have the freetime to be completely worthless. That being said, it is creating an awful habit on my part. I can't mail things.

I've always been a big 'Thank You' card person, and since the Hanukkah/Christmas season, it seems like I can't make the time to sit down and write a short note to my family and friends who thought of me. And that isn't even the worst part. During the holiday season, I have a nice, long break full of empty days that I generally spend up on Baldy, shreddin'. Not in school or work being productive. I'm having me time. Skiing also doesn't take up the entire day, and closes at 4:30. So what is it you ask that I spend the rest of my day doing? I honestly couldn't tell you. I don't recall being too productive, maybe a nap and some web surfing? A little ice skating perhaps? And yet I can't find a half hour to devote to my friends and family. I'm ashamed.

This hasn't only happened during the holidays, my birthday was another slump in the 'thank you' notes. At least this time I got them written and stuffed into envelopes....two months late! I truly am embarassed and sorry for all the people who will recieve one when I finally send them out.

Not only have a I been terribly with the ty notes. My letters are accumulating on my shelf as well. I have letters for my friends who have left for adventures in other countries, I have letters for my family in Canada, and worst of all, I have a letter to my father, a reply, from December waiting to go out! How have I let myself get so far behind!? I love mail and find myself wondering why I never get anything important. Maybe that's the answer Rach! o_0

After I mail the large shipment of letters out, I will honestly try to keep a steady export rate going. Promise with both of my pinkies.

A side note..

Today was my second day of school, and I am already wiped out. I have lost nearly all of my excitment for school, but don't hate it yet, so that's a good sign. I also haven't started half assing my assignments either, another good sign. I will say that sociology is going to be the coolest class I have taken to date, and absolutely love it. Everyone should have that class. As far as not so cool classes, Chemistry takes the cake. I have Mr. Tuxhorn who is the nicest, most genuine man ever, but teaching just isn't his claim to fame. He is too soft spoken to control a class and way to friendly, not to mention 'blazed' all day as some other kids would say. I'll leave that one up for debate. The class that I honestly can't say I have an opinion on aside from intense is AP Language and Comp. We have had to exams already to show us what's up for the final and to see where we're all at, and I'm betting I get a big, bold RETARD stamp on both of mine. I wasn't prepared to comprehend let alone think so hard on the first day. Oh well, I am still pretty interested to see how it goes.

I think this is getting a little lengthy so I'll leave it at that...

Inspiring picture of the day for me.

This was featured on the cover of National Geographic at some point which in itself says so much. They have the best photos in that magazine. Anyways, the colors are so strong and her face holds so much, I just want to go up and talk to her.

When I can't take my own picture to put in my blog, I think I'll post one that I really enjoy, to keep things interesting. Maybe a video or song instead every once in a while.

It's bed time for me though, picture day tomorrow already! Yikes!!

G'night.

-_-

Aye, freshman day was today. Pretty lax but it sure got me pumped. I think I'm really ready to get the show on the road with school. I mean, the way I look at it, the faster we start, the faster it's over, and the fast this year is over, the faster I can start next year. The faster I can start senior year, the faster I can graduate and be on my way towards more school, somewhere bigger and better. Yikes! When I start thinking about that I just get way too excited. I have a pretty nice scheduale this year, classes I think for the most part will be challenging yet interesting.

-college math
-sociology*
-economics
-chemistry
-ap english language and composition

Later on I have a couple art classes along with spanish, speech, and history. As I said before and probably will say a few more times, I'm geeked. I've just recently become pretty interested in cinemetography. Saw a few videos some kids shot and edited, seems pretty groovy. So here comes the dilema: Do I really want to switch out of ceramics and take video productions? I love my arts, but it could be really neat to learn a new one, way out of my range. I have a little bit of time to figure it out, but it surely is a toughy.
Alkajfga- Excited I am.

Even with all this excitment building up inside, I am a little sad to see summer go. It definately had its ups and downs, but it was grand none the less. *tear*

For the record..Everyone should watch this movie. Not only does it have a rad soundtrack, it's just a cool idea and story. W A T C H I T !

I suppose I should get some sleep though, needing that beauty rest for the first day.. if I can actually fall asleep. heh.

-_-

Tomorrow is my last day at the pool for the season, I honestly cannot wait until 4:30pm. All of my work stress will be gone, room for the school stress. Nah, I'm really excited for school to begin. Though it's my fault I haven't used my resources, I feel as if my once agile brain has been replaced with a big dull blob of mush. Learning new things in classes I'll enjoy will feel great! I know that in two weeks I'll probably have a blog complaining about school, but I really do want to try and get the most of it this year. Rather than slime my way through the assignments, I want to challenge myself to be better and smarter, and retain some of the information handed to me. Blah, whatever.

The last days of summer seem to be flying by. I sat out last night and watched a cat spider create a huge web. It's insane to me that a spider can make such an intricate home all based on instinct. It's also funny that I would sit and watch this meaty spider, as I am terrified of them. I guess I can take them outside, on my own terms. When I watch this little guy work so hard to build a trap/haven and then hunt, all to tear it down in the end it brings up a lot of thoughts. It's pretty humbling afterwards. Here's a shot I got of the little guy.

Short and sweet, but at least I got it out there. It's time to toss the frisbee around with some buddies. Farewell summer, hello school.

-_-

Special fran

Today I found just how truly remarkable and kind people can be. It's a nice change to the cynical outlook i have had lately and makes me grateful for the people who do surround me. Until today, I had recently come to thinking that most people are selfish, self centered, and dull. Today I'm looking to see small things I really like about everyone around, rather than faults and flaws. Man it feels great.

I was able to catch up with a newer friend of mine. I met her last month during my time working for Allen and Company. It was a short, two week conference in which I was lucky enough to meet Karen. She is an elderly lady who I instantly felt comfortable and connected with. We had the chance to sit down and chat and were able to find many things we had in common. Once we got going it was hard for us to stop. She told me about her lifetime of managing diabetes, travel, and her relationship with her daughter. I reciprocated by explaining my troubles managing my 'betes, my fundraising for Spain, and relationship with my parents. Our interests and experiences seems to be very similar and it was clear we had both taken to the other very well.

Karen's last day working came before mine, and unfortunately I wasn't there to say goodbye. She had left her phone number and requested I call her for reasons unknown. A couple weeks passed and I became occupied with other things, travels, and simply forgot to call as her number became lost in my mess. Her number resurfaced last week and I felt I should call. Our game of 'phone tag' began. Once again, I was left it, and forgot.

Thankfully I remembered to call her back yesterday, missing her yet again. Luckily she called me back twenty minutes later. It was great I hadn't waited any longer because Karen was due back to California come Wednesday. We chatted for a few minutes and agreed to meet for tea today. Things seemed to get jumbled up and our plans fell through, leaving time for a meeting at the hair salon while she got her hair cut. We exchanged conversation about what we both had been doing since the conference, her seeming particularly interested in my progress for my trip to Spain, which was planned for next summer. I had told her long ago that I was paying my way and very excited about it. The conversation seemed to move away from my travels and on to other things when I noticed how time had gotten away from us yet again. I needed to leave in order to be on time for work. She asked me to wait a couple minutes, both of us seeming flustered. Succeeeding to write a check, she handed it to me. I honestly could not believe what this seemingly stranger was giving to me. I was overwhelmed with so many emotions it all came out as a big granny sob and hug to this generous woman.

Money is tight everywhere, as I'm sure everyone knows, and I was worried I wouldn't have enough for my trip. My mom is unemployed and wouldn't be able to help me even if I had asked her, resulting in my plan to go it alone. In this summer alone I had made about half of the amount it would cost to get myself to Spain, Karen gave me a huge boost that will help so much. I am now three quarters of the way there and confident in my goal. This lady whom I thought was great in the first place, showed me just how special and generous some people can be. There is nothing that I can do to show my gratitude towards her but to meet her request. All she asked was that I keep in touch. She said that was all she wanted in return and I hope I don't let her down.

To whomever reads this, I have one thing to say:
Just when you doubt people or things, they will surprise you. Also, don't take the smallest people for granted. Every person you meet should impact you in some shape or form. Learn from it. Embrace it.

-_-

It's finally happening.

After a couple months of wanting to do it, I did it. It seems a little silly that me of all people want to write, seeing as I have never been a faithful writer, and hardly any of my buddies blog. No matter though, maybe I can entertain, even 'touch' some stranger I have never met with my random gabs. What a thought eh? I love people I hardly know.

Anyway, I'm pretty excited. It should be good practice to write consistently for school as well as a nice out for my thoughts. I'll make this short and sweet because I don't have the time nor the energy to write right now. Just thought I'd set it up and get'r going.

A post to no one, imagine that. The first of many to come. Cheers!

-_-